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FCT residents give reasons for phone snooping

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Some residents in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) on Tuesday expressed divergent views on why they snoop their partners phones, emails and text messages.

Mrs Elizabeth Joseph, a civil servant told newsmen that though her husband uses a code to lock his phone, she has been able to decode it and snoop through his phone whenever she suspects him of hiding anything from her.

“ He (the husband) is not aware that I have the code to his phone, so he leaves it with me to go and watch football with his friends, which gives me ample time to go through it and even his mails, text messages and pictures to know what he is up to.’’

Also, Miss Bola Samuel, a banker, said snooping through her partner’s phone from time to time keeps her abreast of his activities, “especially his `kuru-kere’ moves.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with going through my partner’s phone, which some people regard as stalking. I rather see it as protecting my interest to know if the relationship will yield fruit or I am wasting my time.’’

According to her, she also gets an inkling of her partner’s plan for their relationship through his text messages with his family members and friends , as well as eavesdropping on his conversation with others.

Similarly, Mr Emmanuel Chibuzor, a business man said he sees nothing wrong in snooping his partner’s phone because ,“I bought the phone and I have every right to know who she communicates with and the nature of such conversation.

“ I don’t see anything wrong in going through my partner’s phone without her consent because I got the phone for her, moreover we are both in a relationship, so we don’t need to hide anything from each other,’’ he said.

However, Mrs Ronke Ibrahim said she regretted going through her husband’s phone without his knowledge because it affected their relationship.

“ I was inquisitive and went through his phone without his consent and I saw some pornography videos and pictures in it, I immediately felt insecure.
I also felt that I was not satisfying him sexually; I became scared that the relationship might end soon.’’

On his own part, Mr Funom Adamu, stressed the need for couples to share vital information with each other, which he said would build mutual trust, respect and love in the home.

“ Trust is an essential part of any relationship and snooping through the phone of a partner is one of the worst things you can do because it opens doors for misunderstanding, disappointment and pains.

“My wife has access to my phone, mail, ATM pin and other personal things because I have nothing to hide from her; moreover, this life is too short. What if something happens to me and she needs those things?

“ Some people are professional cheats, but you will never see anything linking them or exposing their extramarital affairs on their phones, mail or other personal belongings,’’ he said.

Adamu, said scooping on each other’s phone was not necessary as it could lead to a breach of trust, become an addiction, which would subsequently affects the relationship.

Meanwhile, a relationship expert said snooping another person’s phone without permission gives room for suspicion, mistrust and hurt for both partners, as well as contributes immensely to broken homes, relationship and marriages.

Mrs Precious Yusuf, said people who go through the phones or other personal items of their partners without their knowledge shows they lack trust, are possessive and feel vulnerable in their relationships.

“ Snooping other peoples personal items without their consent shows lack of trust, understanding and respect for the person , which in most cases becomes a habit and leads to misunderstanding or an end of the relationship.’’

Yusuf attributed insecurity, suspicious of cheating and hiding relevant information that might affect the relationship as reasons why people secretly go through the phones and other personal belongings of their partners.

“ It is better to confront your partner and clear the air, rather than become suspicious to the extent of stalking the person all because you suspect the person is cheating or hiding something from you,’’ Yusuf said.

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