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When your spouse suddenly loses his job

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Elizabeth Badejo

As hard as it may sound, there are many social issues afflicting the well-being of the average family today and the fear of redundancy is certainly one of them.When you consider the current economic situation and the number of companies foldingup daily in this harsh climate, the reality is that unemployment can only be drawing closer to many homes.

Statistics shows that a man is more likely to lose his job in today’s economic downturn than his wife because women have the tendency to work in sectors that require a higher level of education and social skills, while their male counterparts are more likely to work in manual and high risk sectors. Honestly, how does a man go home to tell his wife that he has lost his job? As much as it is tough for him, it is even tougher for his wife to accept his loss.

Has your spouse suddenly lost his job recently? Or is he facing the possibility of losing his job in the nearer future? Times are tough indeed and you must both be ready for the inevitable too.

Feeling inadequate

Your husband who has been the main provider for the family will certainly feel very helpless and inadequate when he can no longer take care of his responsibilities either in the short or long term.Unemployment can leave your spouse’s feeling overwhelmed, helpless and anxious.

Changes in behaviour

Being unemployed can change your spouse’s outlook to life as well as his personality; you may begin to see rapid behavioural changes also. When a real man loses his job, it will be disheartening to his family finances especially when the children are still very young and needs are mounting up enormously.

Misery loves company

If your spouse is feeling miserable about his current situation, he may want to deal with it in his own way which may seem unreasonable to you. He may be spending his newly found freedom socialising with groups of friends or engaging in habits which were once alien to him. The truth is that he is in a bad state and misery loves company; believe it or not, he has found his comfort zone and certainly your condemnation is not easily going to get him out of it.

Afraid of rejection

Your spouse may be feeling very depressed and rejected which can discourage him from job searching again especially if he has been in the same company for so long and no longer in tune with today’s changing employment practices. At the same time, he is also feeling worthless that he cannot fix things at home and not man enough to be a true husband and father.

NOTE

  • Unemployment is like an open wound which cannot be disguised; therefore imagine the discomforts and pains your once hardworking and responsible spouse is going through. All he needs from you now more than ever is your patience and assurance and not condemnation.
  • The longer the unemployment lasts, the worse it can become for his senses and dignity; situations like this are destroying many marriages today but dedicating quality time to your spouse can make all the difference to him.
  • Admit it or not, you are losing a piece of yourself too but remember a woman finds strength when her husband is weak.

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